Sunday, September 15, 2013

Texas Rated the State Most People Would Like to Kick Out of the Union

Oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeease do! 

Apparently this distinctly unscientific poll has rated Texas the least favorite state in the union and the one they'd most like to see kicked out. Of course, they're all just jealous, but we Texans don't even care about what they think. Actually kicking us out would be just fine and dandy.  There are many advantages to striking out on our own:

  1. We'd be somewhere around the 5th wealthiest and most powerful country in the world, 
  2. We'd be a nuclear power (we make our own nukes here)
  3. We'd be debt free virtually overnight cause we ain't takin' ya'll's overspending with us
  4. We already have a budget surplus and a balanced budget amendment. 
  5. Don't worry about defense, just go ahead and mess with us. We've got Lockheed Martin in Ft. Worth, Vought aerospace and Bell Helicopter in Arlington and Halliburton could build us a scary wicked Navy inside a year. 
  6. We'd be leaders in the space race since NASA works out of Houston (we could rent 'em space or you could spend several billion bucks moving them.  We wouldn't miss them. We have three or four private space ventures out in West Texas already and with US regulations lifted, they'd be mining on the moon in a decade.
  7. No problem with energy here. We already export oil so we could join Opec and gouge the heck out of the rest of you nimrods.
  8. Also, I'll bet if Texas goes, Oklahoma, North Dakota and Alaska would be right behind us taking the lion's share of oil production with us. 
  9. We oil states could form our own country - Texalaskahomata. Sarah Palin's not doing anything right now, she'd do fine for our first president. I really like this idea. Can we please do this. I'd be happy to close the Washington mission and move back home.

    I'm just sayin'



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Mark Milliorn said...

Since the US stores and maintains most of their nuclear bombs in Amarillo, Texas would probably be a stronger nuclear naton than the US. And don't forget, Texas already has a state Navy. I'm an honorary admiral, and am willing to report for duty.