Cain't Get No Satisfaction - More Sniping From the Propeller Heads!

(c) 2011 by Tom King

Just got a cut and paste hit piece on Hermann Cain from a friend of mine who keeps trying to convert me to a certain political cult I will not name here because, frankly, I'm weary of hearing from the fringies about how he's the second coming incarnate. They keep on coming like Jehovah's Witnesses on steroids or something. While I understand the urgency of the potheads, I'm quite at a loss where apparently rational folk like my friend are concerned.

My friend says this (I have included the entire post. To protect my readers from the urge to harm themselves while reading this stuff, I urge them to take any anti-anxiety medication they've before proceeding):

• In this case, I believe RM* is right. Cain is making art out of making
  fools out of a bunch of idiot voters. People today are too damn lazy
  to learn what is at stake. I'm sure the Republican who wins will be one
  who those with BIG MONEY want the obedient sheep to vote for.
  If the stakes weren't so large, this would be funny stuff.
  
  What's Cain's real purpose? Since he has zero chance, what is he
  really accomplishing? Well, he's siphoning a bunch of time from the
  media airwaves and diverting meaningful conversation of real issues
  towards his "brutha from another mutha" talk and his wanna be
  girlfriends. I guess people want to be entertained and not informed.
  In this regard, he is doing his job well. Even when he loses, we will
  see his face on the tube for a long time as he pontificates. For me,
  
  
  I've seen enough of this black-faced GWB and his idiotic 999 stuff !!!!

Boy howdy does that make a deep intellectual argument (that was sarcasm in case some of the people who will be flaming me later missed it). Can you say Occupy Wall Street? Sounds just like some of the man-in-the-street interviews we've been hearing from OWS lately, doesn't it?

So let me get this straight, guys:

If I buy this deft** argument against Herman Cain and your previous diatribes against Israel, the military, the Drug Enforcement Agency, illegal aliens, corporations and Republicans, then, tell me, O' Wise One***, where I can possibly find an isolationist, white, non-Jewish guy to vote for who secretly believes George W. Bush set up explosive charges in the World Trade Centers the night before 9/11 and convinced a bunch of Muslims to fly planes into them the next morning so he could set off the charges and bring down both center towers with two or three thousand people in it, so that he could pay back his buddies at Haliburton by frightening Americans, the British, the French, the Koreans, the Japanese, and several dozen other nations and trick them all into invading Iraq and Afghanistan so he could give Haliburton some juicy no-bid contracts so Haliburton's stock, which he no longer owned any of, would possibly go up?


Now, whooooo could it be who has such powerful credentials?

• It would have to be somebody, of course, who has the support of the propeller heads, conspiracy theorists, ufo trackers and who can draw that all-important Lyndon LaRouche vote.
• It would have to be somebody who can also get the pothead and peacenik vote.
• It would have to be someone who can get the anti-Israel vote, who really understands that what makes Muslims so mad at us is our protection of those pesky Jews and our interference with their plans to drive them into the sea.
• Probably should be someone who knows how to deliver babies and is a Real doctor (not one of those bogus Ph.D. types. Though why that has anything to do with anything, I'm still not sure, but folk smarter than I seem to think it important for some reason and that's good enough for me.**
• Someone who can channel his inner Neville Chamberlain.

Oh my, oh my, who could it be?

• And like my friends say, it would have to be somebody who doesn't have ZERO chance of getting elected.
• It would have to be somebody who doesn't look stupid in the debates when he talks.

Oops. Now I can't think of anybody anymore.

You know, I almost had this one guy in mind, but if he has to look smart in a debate and have better than a zero chance of getting elected.......I guess we're stuck with no candidate and we should just stay home on election day and let the forces of evil have their way****.

Sigh. Let the flaming begin!

Tom King - late of East Texas

*I think RM is some guy off one of the RP blogs and when this was cut and pasted, he just forgot that we have no idea who RM is since it could be Robert McNamara for all I know.
** More sarcasm if you're having trouble keeping up.
*** Yeah, still workin' the sarcasm thing - I can't help myself.
**** Sarcasm continues.... I got tired of doing italics, but you get the idea. It's pretty much all sarcasm.  Sorry, but it's back to daylight squandering time and I'm having reverse jet lag.