Hooray for Friedrich Trump!

Friedrich Trump

Historian finds German decree banishing Trump's grandfather!

 

So screams the headline in the British Tabloid, the Guardian, a news agency of the caliber of a World News Daily, National Enquirer or the New York Times. The Guardian is breathlessly reporting that a "historian" has discovered that Donald Trump's Grandpa Friedrich Trump (or Drumpf if you believe other "historians"), was banished from Germany for failing to do military service. My Democrat friends have been quick to gleefully point out that, "The apple doesn't fall from the tree." Apparently this is some kind of counting coup thing, a quaint tribal custom they have apparently learned from Elizabeth Warren's Native American tribe.

Are you people kidding? First of all, Friedrich had already left Germany for America in 1885 and simply forgot to de-register for the German draft. When he tried to re-enter Germany, they wouldn't let him in because his draft notice had come back unanswered because Trump was off in Alaska running a bordello for gold miners by all accounts. So the story goes flat there and the spinning of the story gets immediately filed in the "fake news" box by anyone who actually reads the whole story all the way to the end and not just the headline.

Besides, back then, all the best people were being kicked out of Europe and Asia - from all of the Old World countries for that matter. The "civilized" countries were getting rid of their troublemaker and these independent thinkers were drawn to America like moths to the flame.

 

And another thing. Weren't these same guys trying to Trump-shame the President, also the very little Ikes who have been telling us ad nauseum that we need immigration to improve our workforce? And the answer is, "Of course we do!" And Friedrich Trump came here LEGALLY. That's the point isn't it? Legal immigrants have never in our history been as welcome as they are now. We are robbing the world of excellent doctors, engineers, computer programmers and scientists right and left. What hard-working oppressed person wouldn't want to come here. It's why we've succeeded as a nation. We take in the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to be free and we make them into energetic, wealthy, independent individuals who are, in fact free! As Bill Murray so eloquently put it in his famous speech in the movie "Stripes", "We're Americans. We've been kicked out of every decent country in the world! We're Mutts! That's what makes us great!"

 

The truth is that the German Army was an instrument of oppression at the time. The fact that Grandpa Drumpf refused to serve in that organization and left his native land forever is a point in his favor to my way of thinking.

So way to go Grandpa Drumpf! An honorable man escaped from a dishonorable country. He never launched mustard gas at anyone. He never rolled over a peaceful neighbor country in a tank. He never raped a French girl. If you ask me Grandpa Friedrich was fortunate to have got out of that appalling country when he did. Germany was fast becoming an evil place. One might even call it a "$#!+hole" (to coin a phrase that Democrats can't prove the president ever said).

Just sayin'

© 2017 by Tom King